I'm pissed. I'm pissed at the governor and the legislature for their idiocy and political posturing. I'm pissed at this idea that we hit everything with a sledgehammer instead of using a scalpel and hurt a lot of unnecessary people. I'm pissed at all of us who voted for changing our California Constitution over 500 times without realizing the effects and what could happen to law and order in the State and yet have the audacity to completely blame the legislature and the governor for all of our problems. I'm pissed at the people who are always saying that we are being bled - that we are paying more and more taxes and getting less from them. I haven't seen any data showing that, in fact I've seen rebates over and over and over out there. I wonder what would have happened to our state of we were not given a break from paying our vehicle license fee and then, when it was the time to reinstate them, we threw the governor out of office and replaced him with the idiot.
I'm pissed at the people who don't realize that when we take care of our weak and poor, at least a little, we are benefiting all people. Could you imagine if all people had enough of an education to be able to understand all of those mortgage papers they were signing? I'm pissed at people that say we don't need any government regulations because the free market fixes everything but then get mad when their money is taken by people like Bernie Madoff, or at executives get paid millions for losing their companies money, or at companies just end up screwing their customers royally. Want some protection - guess what that means? Oh, you want protection only when when things are bad you, not anybody else. Gotcha
I'm pissed at not knowing whether I should give the guy on the street a dollar, because am I aiding his habit or making sure he has food? I'm pissed I don't do more to help others. I'm pissed that I have to get sick and take prednisone and look like a pufferfish once again. I'm pissed that we don't have universal health care, despite the fact that all the polls say people want it, until you label it with the one dreaded word - socialism. I'm pissed that people don't pay attention to facts and data but are swayed by emotions. I'm pissed that money runs this country and people are blind to the facts.
And damn it all - I'm pissed I got a flat tire on my bike and had to get my dad to pick me up and take me home.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Twists and Turns
How do you tell your friends you may be experiencing the worst epoch of your life all over again? How do you say you've started down the path to your greatest nightmare? How do you explain that you are scared shitless of what's going to happen, but you don't want sympathy, looks of pity, constant hugs (1 is fine), and worst of all, those mothering, sidelong, glances of "Ahh, I hope she's okay?" What you do need are jokes, laughter, people making fun of you, teasing, normal friendship (and invites to dinner :-) ), and not to be treated like a fragile baby who can't take care of herself or survive this, because you've already done it once. You know how to survive - you just don't want to have to do it again.
Last week I thought I had a flu. Complete exhaustion and a few other symptoms that I don't feel like mentioning on a blog. But over a week later, I still had the symptoms and they were worse. I won't mention the amount of blood that was exiting my body - but I guess I already did (Opps.) :-) After a barrage of tests, the doctor's couldn't find anything wrong which led them to one conclusion, my Crohn's was back. And all this comes while on one treatment already, a biologic called Remicade. The only thing they can do to try and help me is put me back on prednisone. The one thing I never wanted to take again in my life. The worst thing that can be done to a human female. The evil of medications, which happened to save my life (or at least my colon - for which I'm just as grateful) 13 years ago.
It's hard to think that all the hard work I've put in to my body by eating well and working out constantly is going to be taken away by one medication, but if I'm on it long enough, it will. I already had to cut out my training. Yesterday I email my coach and told him I can't train any more, I just don't have the energy and with prednisone I'll be putting my hips at risk. I'll admit to loving his response. He promised me a credit on my classes and a free triathlon to make up for what I have to miss (which I'm damn well going to use). He also said,
"In the mean time, focus on what you CAN do…not what you can’t. This will keep the mind positive and spirits high."
He is right, so I will. It's still hard to know that the huge drop in my current exercise routine combined with prednisone will make me look like a pufferfish once again, but with friends who say "Here's a radical thought for you Chezza. Think positively!" it will definitely be easier than last time (thanks, by the way. I needed it.)
But don't be surprised if I'm less communicative than ever before and, yes, that is possible. I have a habit of withdrawing in to my shell when crap happens, and this is the worst crap of all. If on prednisone long enough, I will get to a point where I don't even want other humans to see me. Let's hope the treatment doesn't last that long. This has been going one for only two weeks, so perhaps the treatment will as well. Fingers crossed.
Until then, treat me like, well, me and I'll try to act like, well, me. But if I falter, you know why. I love you all.
Last week I thought I had a flu. Complete exhaustion and a few other symptoms that I don't feel like mentioning on a blog. But over a week later, I still had the symptoms and they were worse. I won't mention the amount of blood that was exiting my body - but I guess I already did (Opps.) :-) After a barrage of tests, the doctor's couldn't find anything wrong which led them to one conclusion, my Crohn's was back. And all this comes while on one treatment already, a biologic called Remicade. The only thing they can do to try and help me is put me back on prednisone. The one thing I never wanted to take again in my life. The worst thing that can be done to a human female. The evil of medications, which happened to save my life (or at least my colon - for which I'm just as grateful) 13 years ago.
It's hard to think that all the hard work I've put in to my body by eating well and working out constantly is going to be taken away by one medication, but if I'm on it long enough, it will. I already had to cut out my training. Yesterday I email my coach and told him I can't train any more, I just don't have the energy and with prednisone I'll be putting my hips at risk. I'll admit to loving his response. He promised me a credit on my classes and a free triathlon to make up for what I have to miss (which I'm damn well going to use). He also said,
"In the mean time, focus on what you CAN do…not what you can’t. This will keep the mind positive and spirits high."
He is right, so I will. It's still hard to know that the huge drop in my current exercise routine combined with prednisone will make me look like a pufferfish once again, but with friends who say "Here's a radical thought for you Chezza. Think positively!" it will definitely be easier than last time (thanks, by the way. I needed it.)
But don't be surprised if I'm less communicative than ever before and, yes, that is possible. I have a habit of withdrawing in to my shell when crap happens, and this is the worst crap of all. If on prednisone long enough, I will get to a point where I don't even want other humans to see me. Let's hope the treatment doesn't last that long. This has been going one for only two weeks, so perhaps the treatment will as well. Fingers crossed.
Until then, treat me like, well, me and I'll try to act like, well, me. But if I falter, you know why. I love you all.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Difference between Firefighters and Supreme Court Justices
Our Governor earlier this week when asked, considering that some firefighters make more then supreme court justices, are people working for the government making too much (which I say no, but that's a topic for another day) said,
"The reason why a firefighter should get paid more than a supreme court justice, or any justice is because the justice is sitting there comfortably on his bench - with tremendous amount of knowledge, not to take any thing away from a justice. He makes important decisions that effect all of us so, but one should not discount the person that goes into the fire and rescues someone and saves someone's life, risking his own life. There is a difference between that and just sitting on a bench.... The firefighters deserve every penny they earn."
Okay, let's see what's happening here. We are no longer funding higher public education in California. Law school at Davis and Berkeley are as high, if not higher, than that of private schools, with tuition at Davis about 34,000 a year. Davis estimates that the cost of books and living will put that up to about 50,000 a year. Three years, that's 150,000 worth of debt, and that's assuming you have nothing from undergraduate of course.
Now let's say I have that much debt. Am I going to want to become a justice and work for the government if they don't pay well, or am I going to take the option that will pay off my debts? Well, if I'm smart, I'll probably want to pay off my debts which is probably going to be a corporate position. Therefore, only the incompetent lawyers who couldn't go corporate and independently wealthy lawyers will have the ability to become justices. These decisions that are really important and effect us all, will be made by the worst lawyers and the lawyers that have never had to struggle for anything their entire life. Hmm, that does account for about 1/2 of our Supreme Court. I think it's shameful that our governor has no respect for intelligence and the effect these decisions have on our life. The Supreme Court, both California and federal, have saved and destroyed more than one or two lives, they affected millions. Let's give them some credit please!
Now, not to take anything away from a firefighter, but "Less than 1% of municipalities across the country require you to have a 2 or 4-year degree to take a firefighter examination."(From Don McNea Fire School). Firefighters are trained once they are accepted into the program. I'm not saying they don't deserve to get paid a lot for what they do, but let's not say they are better than a judge because a judge sits on bench and these people don't. That's just ignorant.
And what about my program? According to studies, we've saved over 1,000,000 lives - without putting ourselves in harms way - just by keeping people from smoking. Shouldn't we get something for that, oh yea, a lay-off notice. Nice work.
"The reason why a firefighter should get paid more than a supreme court justice, or any justice is because the justice is sitting there comfortably on his bench - with tremendous amount of knowledge, not to take any thing away from a justice. He makes important decisions that effect all of us so, but one should not discount the person that goes into the fire and rescues someone and saves someone's life, risking his own life. There is a difference between that and just sitting on a bench.... The firefighters deserve every penny they earn."
Okay, let's see what's happening here. We are no longer funding higher public education in California. Law school at Davis and Berkeley are as high, if not higher, than that of private schools, with tuition at Davis about 34,000 a year. Davis estimates that the cost of books and living will put that up to about 50,000 a year. Three years, that's 150,000 worth of debt, and that's assuming you have nothing from undergraduate of course.
Now let's say I have that much debt. Am I going to want to become a justice and work for the government if they don't pay well, or am I going to take the option that will pay off my debts? Well, if I'm smart, I'll probably want to pay off my debts which is probably going to be a corporate position. Therefore, only the incompetent lawyers who couldn't go corporate and independently wealthy lawyers will have the ability to become justices. These decisions that are really important and effect us all, will be made by the worst lawyers and the lawyers that have never had to struggle for anything their entire life. Hmm, that does account for about 1/2 of our Supreme Court. I think it's shameful that our governor has no respect for intelligence and the effect these decisions have on our life. The Supreme Court, both California and federal, have saved and destroyed more than one or two lives, they affected millions. Let's give them some credit please!
Now, not to take anything away from a firefighter, but "Less than 1% of municipalities across the country require you to have a 2 or 4-year degree to take a firefighter examination."(From Don McNea Fire School). Firefighters are trained once they are accepted into the program. I'm not saying they don't deserve to get paid a lot for what they do, but let's not say they are better than a judge because a judge sits on bench and these people don't. That's just ignorant.
And what about my program? According to studies, we've saved over 1,000,000 lives - without putting ourselves in harms way - just by keeping people from smoking. Shouldn't we get something for that, oh yea, a lay-off notice. Nice work.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Ice Cream
Did you know that if you work out enough and eat healthily that when you try to eat lots of ice cream and chocolate sauce your body totally rejects it? Yeah, go figure. I had to throw it down the drain. Waste of a good dessert if you ask me.
Our Governor is a dumbass
Really, truly, he is. I'm not exaggerating. Let's take what he did this week, using my program as an example. First of all, there is money for my program. 20 years ago the voters decided, via Prop 99, to add 25 cents on the each packet of cigarettes sold in California and 5 cents of that comes to my program. In years past, governors have tried to take that money. We've sued and won every time (because it's in our constitution that the money comes to us, one of those 500 amendments we've voted for). The governors have since stopped trying to take it. So we have money. Whether you like the way it's set up or not (I'm not fond of Props myself) that's the way it is. We have money to pay for my salary. We have money for our contracts, we have the money to do what we need to (it's dwindling since the number of smokers is going down, but that's a good thing).
But does the Governor care. Oh, not really. This nice little Executive Order he put out on monday effects ALL contracts. Guess what - I'm a contract employee. I got a notice from UCSF I might be laid off. We have the money, we have people who are wiling to work, and the governor, since he didn't take the time to figure out what in the world his EO would actually do, is now threatening the jobs of these people. Which means fewer taxes being paid, less money in the economy, etc. All the fracking worst things you can do.
We also have lots of contractors. Guess what? We have money for them too. We've planned for some of these contracts for years. Yeah, they're in trouble too. Great work idiot. You signed a poorly written, poorly thought out, and poorly planned EO and have hurt lots of people needlessly (and yes, I understand a lot of people are going to be hurt in this budget crises, but like I said - We have the money and there's no where else for it to go.)
I've heard plenty of similar stories. Some people even actually make money for the State! But, uh, no longer. Their contracts are out luck as well.
So in case you are interested - I'm looking for a new job and I'm looking here and elsewhere. I don't want to leave, but the threat of a lay off is not something I want to deal with. I actually want to stay in CA and help pick up the pieces and rebuild after the explosion/implosion, but I'm not sure if I can. Little problem with the health care. I don't know if I'll get it here and I don't want to rely on my parents to help me with COBRA payments. If I do, great. If I don't - well. I'm looking at DC people, might as well help out the new administration.
So if you know of any openings - I can learn anything, do anything, and even enjoy some of it. Until then, remember what happens when we elect an actor, and a bad one at that, as our leader. What a fracking dumbass.
But does the Governor care. Oh, not really. This nice little Executive Order he put out on monday effects ALL contracts. Guess what - I'm a contract employee. I got a notice from UCSF I might be laid off. We have the money, we have people who are wiling to work, and the governor, since he didn't take the time to figure out what in the world his EO would actually do, is now threatening the jobs of these people. Which means fewer taxes being paid, less money in the economy, etc. All the fracking worst things you can do.
We also have lots of contractors. Guess what? We have money for them too. We've planned for some of these contracts for years. Yeah, they're in trouble too. Great work idiot. You signed a poorly written, poorly thought out, and poorly planned EO and have hurt lots of people needlessly (and yes, I understand a lot of people are going to be hurt in this budget crises, but like I said - We have the money and there's no where else for it to go.)
I've heard plenty of similar stories. Some people even actually make money for the State! But, uh, no longer. Their contracts are out luck as well.
So in case you are interested - I'm looking for a new job and I'm looking here and elsewhere. I don't want to leave, but the threat of a lay off is not something I want to deal with. I actually want to stay in CA and help pick up the pieces and rebuild after the explosion/implosion, but I'm not sure if I can. Little problem with the health care. I don't know if I'll get it here and I don't want to rely on my parents to help me with COBRA payments. If I do, great. If I don't - well. I'm looking at DC people, might as well help out the new administration.
So if you know of any openings - I can learn anything, do anything, and even enjoy some of it. Until then, remember what happens when we elect an actor, and a bad one at that, as our leader. What a fracking dumbass.
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