Sigh

You know, I don't get it.  I'm smart, fun, interesting, active, with all sorts of cool skills and talents. But the one thing I never learned was how to meet people - especially those of the opposite gender. Somehow, I missed this lesson in my teenage years while every other girl was figuring it out, and at the age of 34, I still don't know how to do it.

Everyone around me, even bitter divorcees can meet cool, intelligent people. But all I get is the mechanic at the shop that I walk past every day making eyes at me, and a guy driving a HUGE suburban thing pull over, tell me my jeans look great, and then ask me out. Great ego booster, but no, I don't think so.

I don't understand how I ended up lacking this social skill. I know there are others that I lack. I'm not the most social person in the world and end up not having a lot of friends because of it, but I know shy people that meet guys. So why not me? What did I do that was so horrible that I can't figure out this basic skill? All I know is when met I guy, I'm sure they have no interest in me. It's pretty clear on their faces that I'm too, well, too something.  When I try to be friendly to strangers, I try too hard and it's obvious I'm forcing my conversation.  They probably think I'm ditzy and desperate. But If I don't try, no one talks to me and they probably think I'm a snob.

I'm cool in pretty much every other way, but in this, I'm probably one of the most pathetic 34 (almost 35) year olds out there.  The longest relationship I've had was six months and it should have ended sooner.  How many people my age have never had a real relationship (and not be a nun)? It's just sad, and I still don't have a clue how to change. I guess I never will. I guess I better just get used to that.